THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER
captaintrenchcoat: chatterboxrose: worldofjoy: lifestooshortimnot: Batman: Joe Walker Robin: Lauren Lopez Catwoman: Jaime Lyn Beatty Commissioner Gordon: Dylan Saunders The Joker: Jim Povolo Life: Complete. LAUREN IS ROBIN! NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN THIS! AHHHHHHHH
It’s kinda like..
I mean.. I guess it’s kinda like, I’m homesick for a place I’ve never been.
If Common Sense Was Used in Government and the...
Citizen: I don't believe in abortion.
Government: Then don't get one.
Citizen: I don't believe in birth control.
Government: You don't have to use it.
Citizen: I think gay marriage is a sin.
Government: Don't marry the same sex then.
Citizen: I want my kids to learn about creationism.
Government: Take them to church.
Her: If he hurts you again, I'm sending 47 pizzas to his house.
Me: -laughs- wow, 47 pizzas. That's a horrible punishment.
Her: And on the special instructions I'd tell them to write '[guy's name] is an asshole' on all of them.
Me: You do know our Pizza Hut doesn't deliver, right?
Her: What kind of Pizza Hut doesn't deliver? Fine. I'll subscribe him to a bunch of gay porn...and US Weekly!
The beginnings of the American Revolution,...
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
THIS IS AMAZING.
I love Tumblr. You can say "asgfdhgyukdas" or...
Me: I take it back. You don't have just one man-child to clean up after. You have five. Sometimes 6. It's like the vowels. So: in conclusion, vowels are ruining your life. You should stop using them immediately.