So I went out tonight to drink and have a good time, and I struck up a conversation with someone I sort of know. He was really interested in me, and I was kind of interested in him. My wingman was trying to urge me to go for it with the guy, but I just wasn’t sure. Then, this conversation happened:
(This is mostly in a lighthearted, playful tone, until the ‘waiting list’ part)
Him: I never buy bitches drinks!
Me: You bought me a drink.
Him: Yeah, but I was just being nice. We were getting to know each other, as friends.
Me: Oh, I see how it is.
Him: You do, do you? So you’re hitting on me now?
Me: That’s not what I said. -grinning-
Him: Well, you’re like, on the ‘waiting list’.
Me: What? So, like, if something better doesn’t come along, I’m in?
Him: No, if someone cancels their plans or something like that.
Me: That’s even worse! Fuck that, I’m not your consolation prize.
Him: -holding his hands up apologetically-
Me: Hey, you do what you have to do.
Said guy continued to hit on me, then took his damn sweet time leaving, looking at me like a begging puppy dog as he got up and announced that it was time to go home. I wished him well and sent him on his way.
Listen up, douchey guys who actually try that shit: Don’t even bother trying it on me. I may not be “conventionally” beautiful, but I sure as hell am not insecure enough to fall for your head games.
When she told me about this I about died. This guy thought he was hot snot in a champagne glass when he was nothing more than cold loogie in a Dixie cup.