I’m getting really excited for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month; a challenge to write 50,000 words of a novel in November), and just for a laugh, I thought I’d share some of the most hilariously awful bits of my novel from last year :)
The premise was that a doctor discovers that every person has another person’s name etched on their heart, and it kind of changes the world in big ways.
If everyone does did have these names on their heart, someone has to have Brad Pitt’s, and what if it’s it wasn’t not Angelina?
I just….there is nothing I can say. I can’t.
Holly heard a honk outside. A big honk. It sounded like it belonged to a boat.
It couldn’t have maybe been a LOUD honk? And do boats even honk? Don’t they, like…I don’t know, ding or something?
When he saw her, a tall, somewhat muscular guy with shaggy brown hair and a goatee opened the van’s driver side door and jumped out.
Can we say awkward wording? When I re-read this, I thought I had accidentally described her as ‘a tall, somewhat muscular guy with shaggy brown hair and a goatee’
Holly wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, so a slightly awkward silence fell over them, and it was a little awkward.
Was it awkward, do you think?
They were seated and given menus, and they both opened them and began to look through. Before she had a chance to open hers, Parker put his hand on it, holding it shut.
Parker apparently has the ability to go back in time and keep her from looking at her menu after she’s already looking at it.
She opened her eyes and saw Parker still looking at her, a hopefully look on his face.
Well, yeah, hopefully he had at least some kind of look on his face.
She jumped, and dropped the orange juice spilled on the floor.
Wait…what?
He looked up, and when he saw her, an unrecognizable expression floated across his face for a moment. It was replaced soon thereafter, however, with a smile and an extended hand.
Great. Now my characters have hands growing from their faces. That is, when stuff isn’t floating across them. And could ‘soon thereafter, however’ be any more awkward-sounding? I somehow doubt it.
“Can you imagine?” said the heavily make-upd blonde one.
Because ‘make-upd’ is so a word.
She liked his voice. It was somehow smooth and rough at the same time, like butter with sand in it.
Oh my God. Please tell me that did not just come from my novel. I…just…there are no words.
LOL I remember her sharing these with me! I’m going to do nano again this year. But I’m going to “break the rules” and work on my existing story. I just need to push to work on it, so this is perfect.
